Opinion: Srinivas Guntuka about DOWRY DEATHS

I am shocked to hear about dowry deaths these days. Invitation to US with Technology boom overseas and local has taken Indians lifestyle especially Andhrite NRI’s and their dependants in Andhra to the sky rise. Real estate in Hyderabad and surrounding areas has lifted the leftover local andhrite’s both educated and uneducated common man’s lifestyle to a peak level which was unbelievable. Lower class and middle class became high class within no time. Cost of living dramatically increased within a short span of time and yet it did not impact Milkman on a bajaj scooter, pawn vendors and fruit sellers on the street, chit fund or a life insurance agent, neither a typist in a corner. Many of the andhrite’s know how to order a pizza, can of coke and also can watch a movie spending 240 rupees per person. Unbelievable lifestyle. Poverty seems to be almost invisible.

I can’t think of the factors, what drives a human being to go for a dowry or more money. Is it a man in a human being, parent’s expenses for the education, sister’s marriage or an advance to take care the life partner for the rest of the life. Any reason can’t convince me or make the society happy. Or may be, I am wrong, is the society really happy with what is happening around. Of course it might not be happy, but if it is silent, then I guess it is an acceptance. Why don’t we question ourselves? In the olden days, I believe Dowry came into existence, when a common man didn’t had enough money to take care of the minimal expenses for the marriage of his daughter, his friends and/or relatives gave him the money in small amounts as marriage gifts. Guests never purchased expensive gifts, but they gave in small amounts of 11 to 116 rupees, just to release the burden from the host shoulders. When the society knew, after expenses there is some more money in the pot left after expenses, then came this greediness and in-laws started asking for the rest of the money. Of course, there are many other stories in the history of our culture and kanyashulkam has been there since long time.

Luxury became necessity due to the society around a common man. But I just can’t digest how our education never helped a common man to understand that he has to make his own money for luxurious living and to take care of his family needs. Family is just not parents, sisters and brothers i.e. his own blood relation but also a girl who is coming into the family with lot of hopes from an unknown family.

Death in a family is a tragedy. This kind of death will not only shake couple of families related to the person but the entire nation who is in senses and has feelings. In this typical case, it is too early to comment on the husband or Mrs. Narne’s in-laws. But it is quite clear from the facts that it is a suicidal attempt. In general if I had to evaluate as a common man, then it could have happened because of depression, angry and helpless. The level of depression could be very high. If for a second, we believe it is a dowry case, and then I guess she must have been harassed severely and had no choice but died. It’s a shame on the society and we should see that this family is punished in such a way, it doesn’t happen again. If it is not a dowry case, then the husband is unnecessarily getting blamed and will certainly go through a bad time. What has lead her to this suicide. May be she is not successful in career, or is she not happy with marriage for any other reason. Hopefully, further investigation will be done by FBI and what we can do is keep our fingers crossed until results come.

Having said that, law and order in US is the best and So in one way we don’t have to worry about the culprit  or will he be punished or not. BUT we should worry about history not repeating again. We should work hard to bring a change in the society. We should question ourselves. Is death of Mrs.Narne, justifiable? If for some reason this is not a dowry case, to what extent is Mr. Rama responsible and is Mr.Rama justifiable for going through this pain, if he is not a culprit. What is that Mrs.Narne should have done? Why didn’t she take support of TANA, ATA or NYPD? What everyone else should learn a lesson from this? How woman should mitigate with their husbands and in-laws?

Finally, why can’t we have behavioral science or moral science subjects that are taught in few schools can be expanded to cover these areas that we lack. Of course independence and technology helped us to some extent, but to zero it, we need at least another five decades.

Our sincere condolences to Mrs. Narne’s family members. Let us know if we can be helpful in any way.

Written By Srinivas Guntuka